I like how John left the ending fairly ambiguous: “I look back at this period and wonder what else besides furniture and my Dad moved out.” He doesn’t tell you what this piece is supposed to mean, he just describes events as he recalls them, which makes it an interesting read. The smalls stories within his essay were an excellent addition – they humanize the author and provide necessary information concerning his subject.
Another enjoyable facet of John’s piece is his wit. He’s not blatantly funny, or humorous outright, but his general attitude towards the difficult topic of divorce, especially from his perspective as an adult reflecting on his childhood experience, is fairly refreshing. His piece isn’t just doom and gloom and “life sucks”; his wit keeps it from becoming too dark.
I don’t think John has to add lines like “(Don’t ask me why I remember the things I do, memories work in mysterious ways.)” to this essay. Lines like that add to the author’s character, his sense of self, his personality; they make him more relatable to the reader. In this instance, however, I feel John’s personality comes through without the addition of parenthetical inserts. Then again, additions like this are representative of the author’s style. I would not presume to lecture anyone on personal style, especially when it doesn’t necessarily affect the piece negatively or positively.
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